By Ethan Tai
When people hear “premarital counselling” (PMC), they often assume the relationship must be in trouble. But for us, it was the opposite. My partner and I weren’t dealing with major issues, we just wanted to build a stronger foundation for our future.
PMC walked us through the big topics (money, family, communication, expectations) and the small but powerful things, like the daily gestures that make us feel loved or how to truly listen when your partner speaks. We found it surprisingly practical, not just in what we discussed, but in the tools we took away to actually apply in our relationship.
Some sessions were light and fun, others unexpectedly emotional. One of our discoveries was that I’m the “hedgehog” (withdraws and processes internally), and my partner is a “rhino” (confrontational and vocal) due to our different upbringings. She grew up in an expressive household, whereas I didn’t always have space to speak. That insight alone helped us understand so much about our different ways of coping and communication.
Our biggest takeaway? Marriage isn’t just about love. It’s about teamwork, vulnerability, and being on the same side—even when one of you wants to go to bed early and the other wants to play Stardew Valley until 2 a.m.
From the Heart of Our Couples
The course allows partners to understand and prioritise each other more. It acts as a constant reminder.
My partner and I joined the course thinking that we have covered the key topics to discuss prior to marriage. To my surprise, there were much more areas to consider, and the partner conversations were able to prompt more in-depth discussion about certain topics.
The opportunity to talk about topics that may not otherwise be brought up. And laughing together as we got to know each other better 🙂
Being able to revisit and understand that our parents also didn’t have it easy. And that we shouldn’t expect things to be easy and to be excited for the road ahead.
Getting to talk about topics that won’t typically come up in normal conversation e.g. family relationships, discussing how we’ll deal with potential situations together as a couple.
The tip of “how can I make your day better?” is a good reminder to put my partner before myself.
Get Involved
🤝 Interested in joining the next Alpha PMC? Connect with Pastor Yu Yong here.
🙏 Pray for the eight couples who attended Alpha PMC that they will continue to discover and appreciate each other.
💻 What is the first step in a wedding planning checklist?