BUILDING RESILIENCE: AN UPGRADE TO MY PARENTING TOOLKIT

By Maj

Imagine getting ready to clean up your backyard with just one tool—let’s say, a tiny shovel. You start by scraping up some weeds—no problem! Then you dig a few holes and move a couple of rocks, all with ease. But when you need to cut a few branches from an overgrown tree, you quickly realise the tiny shovel won’t do the job. You need a different tool for this bigger task. In much the same way, parenting can feel like this—one approach may work for simple situations, but more complex challenges require specific tools. 

I’m a mother of two—Paul, 7, and Shiloh, 5—from the Philippines, and while I’m currently doing post-graduate studies here in Malaysia, my husband and children are back home. When I learned that PJEFC was organising a parenting workshop on building resilience, I was eager to join. This is a chance for me to upgrade my parenting toolkit. Although I missed the first session on faith due to travel, I was grateful that the following sessions expanded on the interconnectedness of faith, hope, and love, emphasising how these elements work together in building resilience.

One of my biggest takeaways from the workshop is: resilient parents build resilient children. We cannot give what we do not have. As our passionate resource speaker Lee Soon reminded us time and again, “Don’t teach! Be a role model. Be intentional.” This idea resonated deeply with me and I’ve found myself using the techniques from the sessions to regulate my emotions, especially when I feel overwhelmed by the stress of being away from my family and managing my studies.

The session on hope, where parents were grouped by their children’s ages, was particularly meaningful to me. It felt validating to discuss shared experiences, and hearing from parents of teens and young adults gave me a glimpse of what’s to come. The testimonies from guest parents were inspiring, especially seeing God’s presence in their journeys through challenging moments.

What strengthened me most was realising that my husband and I aren’t parenting alone—God is with us. Our children are His as well and pointing them to the source of true, unconditional love helps them grow deeply rooted in Him. 

During the final session, when the song “A Parent’s Prayer” played, my heart was filled with peace. It reaffirmed the importance of raising my children in God’s ways, knowing that this labour of love is never in vain. I left the workshop empowered, with an upgraded toolkit of strategies to nurture both my children’s resilience and my own. I am grateful to the organisers of this event, and I cannot wait to join future parenting workshops lined up.


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