By Loh Lee Soon
The Parenting Ministry had a tea party with a group of fathers in January, and we discussed NAGGING – What Works, What Doesn’t. It was a light-hearted, relaxed session over nyonya kuih and we concluded that nagging doesn’t really work… It’s actually better to spend the time praying with our children.
And now, on March 19 (Saturday), we will have our second Parenting Tea Party, this time for both mothers and fathers, to talk about MILESTONES.
As parents, our role in helping our children through milestone events in life is critical in shaping the way they “see” things – good, bad, happy, sad; how the choices they make drive the decisions and actions that follow; and what encourage them and what hold them back or make them hesitate.
We need to be mindful of how we walk with them through new experiences and challenging times. Whilst sitting for a school or government examination is just “one of those things we need to go through”, could it be that the child’s attitudes to learning, discipline, curiosity, determination and perseverance are all being formed and framed in their character and personality? And it probably starts from the age of 3 when they are learning to read, not only at 16 or 17 when they are sitting for SPM or IGCSE or ‘O’ levels! And whilst we are always looking to be positive and encouraging to our children, do we also prepare them to face disappointments, even failures, which are inevitable elements in life? It is these milestone moments that the child remembers for decades after. At a recent webinar on Christian parenting, a psychologist threw a sobering thought to the audience – “We are not raising children! We are raising adults!”
What should our goals be when we help our children through milestone events? Do we identify with our children’s insecurities and fears, or are we, parents, more traumatised by the prospect of failure and disappointment? Who is more afraid of making a mistake – the parent or the child? What values do we want to instil in our children that will help them develop priorities that will hold them true to the faith we profess? How do we reassure them that our GOD is a faithful GOD who is present in all circumstances and works for the good of those who love Him?
🙏 Pray for the ministry as we embark to create a safe space for parents to journey alongside one another.
🤝 Do you have a heart to walk with parents who might need support? We invite you to join our parenting team. Speak to Rev. Alexa at 012-372 1264.